Women Want More, a Lot more from
Marriage than Wealth . . .
Many of us were surprised when Heather Mills McCartney sued
Paul McCartney for divorce last year. What possibly could be the
problem? Paul McCartney’
His first marriage was heralded as a fairytale love affair;
he would not travel without Linda, his first wife, by his side. His second
wife was apparently marrying one of the most romantic men on earth and the
wealthiest man in show business.
As the sordid details came out, it turns out that Paul
McCartney can be just as boring as the rest of us middle aged men. He
apparently likes to watch television barely grunting at his younger wife who
wanted, well, she wanted more. When he was a young man, Paul McCartney
wrote the song, “When I’m Sixty-Four.” Well, now he is 64 and the
lyrics of his song did not successfully predict his current circumstance.
She was willing to settle for $40 million dollars of his
estimated $1.5 billion estate to be free of his boring ways and alleged
inattentiveness.
A friend of mine, and a notable healthcare leader, somewhat
less wealthy, has been snake bitten in much the same way. With an estate
estimated at $30 million, his wife wanted more than all that money. She
had two options: stay in a loveless marriage valued at $30 million or live
alone with $15 million. Apparently the choice was simple. Free at
last, free at last, thank God Almighty she is free at last.
My friend used to tell me, “I can’t afford to get a
divorce.” That sent up a red flag for me. I guessed the lady in his
life was measuring the essence of their marriage in more than economic
terms. She had needs and he was not paying attention to those needs . . .
he was just paying; paying the bills. What more could she want? They
had multiple homes, more money than good sense and community admiration and
respect. What did she want that she was not getting? Maybe she needed
a soft word, a gentle touch, a loving hug, a kind word, an attentive ear and a
genuine interest in her dreams and aspirations. She needed something more
than the money. Well, much to his surprise he is finding that he can
afford a divorce; he has no choice. In my experience, women are much more
comfortable inside their own skin than men. Men, almost all men, are lost
without a woman in their lives. Finding a happy single man is like finding
palm trees inside the Arctic Circle. Women on the other hand will
share their lives with men, but those men better pay attention to the needs of
the “lady in their life.”
The lessons observed right outside the windows of my home
are not lost on me. Each spring a white-tailed doe gives birth to one or
two fawn. She nurtures her young and teaches them the mysterious ways of
eating all of our flowers and plants. One or two days a year the
neighborhood buck comes visiting; it is about all she can take of
him. Hmmm, I think there is a lesson there. She seems pretty happy to
me.
My friend, like most stupid men (I think that is redundant), will most likely rush into another relationship. Hopefully he will fully assess the underlying reasons for his divorce and spend less time brooding over the $15 million loss. Let’s see, $15
million divided by two is $7.5 million. This divorce business is expensive!
“Baby Boomers” have much more wealth than the generation
that preceded them. Women need not suffer through a bleak and loveless
marriage like many of their mothers did. They can divide that estate and
move their lives toward something more tolerable.
Yes, just like the title of the book, “Women are from Venus
and Men are from Mars.” Women want to talk out their issues and have a
partner who will listen. Grunting at the ladies in our lives is a bad
idea. Women pay attention to the little things we do and they will not tolerate
being ignored. Taking a woman for granted and ignoring her needs may just
lead you into divorce court. Why should a woman, who may well live into
her 90’s, put up with a bumbling “old coot” about as sensitive as a rock?
Women today have many more options. They assess those
options. Men who ignore these issues do so at their own peril.
Jan Ricks Jennings, MHA, LFACHE
Senior Consultant
Senior Management Resources, LLC
JanJenningsBlog.Blogspot.com
412.913.0636 Cell
724.733.0509 Office
Updated March 14, 2023
No comments:
Post a Comment